Restlessness #7

This has been my routine since long. I go to bed, just to collect every bit of sorrow and pain I received from life and ignored as if I am made out of steel, unaffected by calamities.

So, I was staring at the roof as if there is an open portal to a place where you see all rewinds of your life and like every other night tonight I searched the bits and pieces of past to find where I went wrong. 

I didn't, just that may be my growth in all aspects of life, every feeble step forward wasn't accepted and now I was fighting for 'life' from life itself! 

Till the sound of rain soothed my burning existence I continued to untangle past. There is no use of doing so, of course I know that, but I'm grown used to staying restless and uneasy, being uncomfortable with everything around so much that everything other than my current state attracts me too much. 

The story behind every other sleepless night. 

I want to extricate myself from present but where would I go, supposing I am able to do so? My past is a carefree, innocent era which I like to cherish but not relive since it won't be the same second time and future... is unpredictable. 

And that is it perhaps, 'unpredictable' is what is holding me and all of us into the present.. I can not rush my way out of it no matter how bad I want to.