Restlessness # 6

I can not gather my thoughts, assemble them nor can I collect myself.

they said life is beautiful, you need to try and matter every piece of it big or small. I did try. You're just helpless against fate. You strive against the odds only for things to get even worst? 

I am confused at the moment, where I stand is a place I rebel strongly but is a place I have to be! What I struggle through gives no result, only I wake up to a bleak today. Even more than that it has been yesterday.

No words of sympathy affect me, its like I have lost.. every bit of myself. Before I could blossom fully I withered, before I could sooth in sunshine it grew dark, before I could find a place in this world I lost my identity and was forcefully buried. Its like existing is the hardest thing for me and I wish to meet an end because I see nothing worth standing for, I stood for myself only to be thrown again and again. I have felt my feebleness, insignificance of my prayers and efforts against life and fate.

I just wish to die. 

Truly, if it brings peace.