I still do..

I really did. As a matter of fact I was in state of worshiping his existence day and night. I began my days with his thought, spent entire time distracted and later chased him in my dreams. That had become my life since the first time I realized his eyes were too bright and his nature too mysterious and for no reason I was allured to explore those mysteries. Not that I ever got a chance to even talk to him personally, it was the fire I myself lit around me in which I burned.
I was convinced he notices me -wishful thinking ha! See my mind playing games?
I was convinced he is just like me!
And I was convinced that he knew I was attracted to him and I knew him too well. Of course I failed to realize then, that we weren't exactly "the match", I wasn't really that great to be noticed and most importantly I was after the ultimate IMPOSSIBLE. Not that I acted desperate, good for me because all I did was wait for miracles and procrastinate and thus wasted my time. I was delighted at a glance, I was in the air when he passed by me and the list goes on, for moments which I assumed were "our" perfect moments.
Now if I think about it I literally want to laugh at myself.
Anyways, so life went on. My friend was aware who continuously kept mentioning that I am insane. And I -the great- kept telling her "miracles happen". I guess she was right feeling awkward about her friend, who was once the most realistic and practical person she ever knew, who has been 'sensible' even in teenage was drawn to a man and was living in the world that had tendency to collapse within a fraction of second. And it did.
I think everything around me was too typical that when I noticed something 'rare found' I was attracted towards it naturally. Yes, not that I liked him is the reason why I said 'rare found' but in actual he truly was. Not like any Greek gods, any mythical beauty what I am referring to, but his soul was the most unpolluted, crystal clear and honest one I have ever come across, which was also depicted by his wide eyes and when he talked, his deep voice echoed in ears like casting a spell, leaving me mesmerized.
I wasn't aware how much things were affected in this era when I failed to respond to anything, my routine was a mess thanks to my day dreaming all the time and I remember nothing from those days other than the tiniest details I figured out and treasured, concerning him. At the same time I was acquainted by burdens of responsibilities, all too sudden and too early for my age. At times I was frustrated when the pressure built up and I used to panic, later calm down thinking about my helplessness regarding the situation and again........ occupied.
He had this aura, I noticed that people really liked him. They actually respected him for who he was and he himself was proud of it. Which of course was the second thing I fell for. I realized finally that what qualities and traits I want for my better half. Honesty, responsibility, self accomplished career and personality and a well raised character. Often I had a strong desire to meet his mother because I wanted to see that person who had spent her entire life making a noble man like him, and I wanted to tell her that she had done a great job. Here, I definitely did not idealize him into the image I wanted to spend my life with but yes... he eventually became the ONLY one I wanted to be with.
From the beginning I had a perception of being truly devoted and sincere with that ONE PERSON I wanted to explore eternity with, God was aware of this too. Then why he sent him in my ways and made him too obvious for me to NOT notice he was there?? This question still confuses me a lot.
I will skip the details of what happened, which is too obvious and the fate of one sided affection but I was moved. I thought never in my life I will be able to love someone this honestly and with this much intensity. He had deep effects on me, like he was always with me and the impacts are still there. As you can see, though with time I had went on with life, establish my career and reached the heights of success and age both... I have been unable to detach from him. I feel every bit of me still worshiping him the way I did since the very first day. And whenever I see any boy passing by or even behaving in a bit adequate manner than the typical trend of this century I imagine my silly thought of having my own son raised by his mother and turning into a man like he was. His complete reflection! I smile at my silly little dreams like this one.
He had grasped my soul then and he is still there even today.

P.S I just tried to distract myself and came up with this post! :)